LAWS OF ATTRACTION: HOW COMPATIBLE ARE YOU?

This is the fourth in a series on romantic love:
MIRROR OF ERISED
THE LOVE LOTTERY
LAWS OF ATTRACTION: THE DARK SIDE

I think it is fairly obvious that if you really want to be in a satisfying, healing, happy, healthy relationship you have to take an honest look at yourself and make sure that you can contribute to it in a way that is vital. And this is especially true in the areas of your life where you are weak. For instance, if what you want is someone rich because you always have financial problems, you have to make your financial issues a priority.

For one thing, if you look to someone else to solve your problems, you have effectively given away your own power. If you do not believe that you, yourself, hold the key to prosperity, you will never find it in someone else. Or you might attract someone with money, but I believe that they will have crippling weaknesses that they cannot solve in some other area of their life. (Perhaps a chronic health issue, an addiction, etc.) And it is likely that those weaknesses will consume the relationship, and in this example, the bank account. I have loved men that only made me weaker, angrier, more destructive.

However, that does not mean that if you have a trait-- either good or bad-- that you are going to attract someone with that same identical trait, or the exact opposite of that trait. In other words, if you have problems discussing your feelings, you may or may not attract someone who blurts out every feeling they have, or someone who is also reticent to talk about feelings.

For one thing, you might think you talk about your feelings easily. But perhaps what you discuss easily are the feelings that you have that you think are "okay" to have. And in that case, who knows what is slumbering down in that dungeon if you don't? (You have to give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling and still Love yourself unconditionally.) And if it is the case that you are avoiding alot of emotions than you will have built up certain behaviours over the years that mask those emotions, even-- or especially-- from yourself.

Sometimes it can be hard to see beyond the mask. It looks like a recurring financial crisis. Or maybe it is a weight problem. Or an addiction, perhaps to drugs or alcohol or eating or cigarettes-- the obvious addictions--but perhaps to television, shopping, sports, daydreaming, gambling, work, or hobbies. Maybe it is always falling in love with someone who needs fixing. First you have to be willing to admit that you have something you are hiding from or avoiding, and then you have to be willing to really explore it.

And once you are willing to explore it, if you persist and keep focused on yourself and your own growth, you will begin to find ways to change those behaviours. For one thing, you won't need those behaviours so much. They won't be rattling the dungeon door and howling so much. Or if they do, you will have the courage to confront them. And the more you confront them the easier it will be to handle them. You will have torn the mask off, so to speak.

And you want to be able to satisy your own needs so that you can wait for the partner that all is mutual and healthy. Someone that you are partner with in creating joy and happiness and growth. When you can solve your own problems and you have a handle on your weaknessess you will begin to attract the "right" partners.

That is not to say your soul-mate will show up the minute you work through your childhood issues and lose 20 pounds. Not usually, anyhow. When you start sending out those "attraction" signals it is a lot like placing an ad in the psychic/sexual energy newspaper. I used to make spell candles and I would always warn people that once they started burning a candle to attract a lover they were going to get a lot applicants, and some of them weren't going to be right. Don't assume the first person you meet after you light the candle is your soul mate. Do some interviews and check references, I used to counsel. The same holds true even without the spell candle.

(I need to make a statement here about love spells vs. Bewitchment. You don't want to put a spell on a specific person because that is a) wrong, and b) putting a spell on a specific person, or bewitching them, is like getting a tow truck to tow you around in a car that doesn't run just so you can feel like you are driving. A brand new Mercedes hitched up to a tow truck is still just a car that doesn't run. Period. You are better off in a second hand jeep that stalls than that Mercedes. Bewtichment is too much energy and it is destructive and wasteful. And don't forget, karma is heavier for witches and those that live their lives consciously. What you do to another you open the door to be done to you. Trust me on this, I am sorry to say, because I know this first hand.)

You need to be open to everything you receive. That doesn't mean you have to say "yes" to everyone who asks you out, but once you begin to work on your relationships consciously, you need to do things differently and have the courage to try new things. I think there is a testing phase whenever you decide you want a change in your life. If you have always "settled" the Universe is going test you and see if you will "settle" again for only part of what you want. Or if you will keep doing interviews until you find the best applicant. You have to be able to manage your anxiety. You have to be able to live without what you want for as long as it takes for dream to arrive. Desperation is a real dream killer.

And if you want to get into the right relationship you have to be willing to get into the wrong one. Yes, that needed to be said in bold and italics. There is no way to know the future. I will tell you as a psychic, and I believe many psychics would agree with me, including Yoda, whom I quote: "Future is always in motion." (The more psychic you become, the more you realise that nothing is 100% predictible.)

If you are so frightened of a bad relationship, or the wrong relationship, that you need an iron clad guarantee that it is going to be exactly the way you want it and that you are with the "right" person, I will guarantee that you will probably keep attracting the wrong relationships. You will attract people who are also afraid. For myself, as I discussed in the last post (LOA: The Dark Side), I harbour a deep-rooted belief that I am not worthy of male attention and love. I have to constantly be monitoring that part of myself (at least until I learn how to do this dance with my new feet ;o) or I will attract men who don't want relationships, or worse, predators who want to hurt me.

And in all your life, not just your love life, you must always be certain that the best is yet to come. Whether you are single or married or a Eunuch, you must KNOW that the best is always coming. No matter what happens.

Ironically, for the seriously damaged, especially if the emotional damage came from an alcoholic parent or something similiar, you must remind yourself of this in best times even more than the worst. Those of us that had unstable and upsetting home lives seem to be more afraid when things go well, because in our childhood it was always the good times that were ruined by the behaviour of the alcoholic or similiarly needy parent. I think damaged people find it easier to believe the best is yet to come during bad times, because that is the fantasy that a child hangs onto. But some of us need to learn to trust the good times as well.

Say it with me, whether this is the worst day or your life or everything is going just dandy-- either way, say it with me: "The best is yet to come."

PRAISES, THANKS, & BLESSINGS!!!