A CONSCIOUS AGENT OF EARTH AND HEAVEN

TONIGHT IS EARTH HOUR!!! 830-930 PM in your time zone, all over the Globe!!! TURN EVERYTHING OFF FOR AN HOUR!!!

This post is a bit of a mix of both personal and spiritual (and political). For readers that are not familiar with my health situation let me explain that in September of 2008 I became so anemic that I fainted several times and ended up in the hospital for a blood transfusion. The really sad fact is that this was the second time I'd fainted due to a low blood count, the first time in July of '07 when I was in St. Louis.

In the face of obstacles I have the ability to be persistent to the point of stubborn stupidity. Even my health is not enough to deter me from whatever it is that I am trying to do. (Case in point, for many years I was addicted to things that were downright dangerous to my health.) With the situation causing my anemia I just did not feel I could stop and get the treatment I needed-- in fact, given the situation with my health insurance, I knew that I wouldn't get the treatment that I wanted.

The positive side is that, because I was ambulatory, I eventually ended up at UCLA Olive View. It's reputation is the hospital of the transient, the poor immigrant, the amputee heroin addict, etc. I have learned, however, that it is an excellent facility, filled with caring doctors, nurses, administrators, and lots of medical students, interns and residents. The care I have recieved there is better than the care I recieved at the private hospital, or even from my former (private) ob/gyn.

I just went back for another progress check (surgery in late May at this point), and I got the chance to share with my doctor there (a real doctor- not a med student or intern) how much better I was feeling now that I have enough blood and enough iron in my blood. (And I quit smoking cigarettes... again!!!) I spend a lot of time looking at the mind/body connection from the perspective of how the mind effects the body. My return to full wellness has taught me a lot about how even moderately low levels of iron can affect mood and outlook.

For the last two years I have trudged through the archaeology of my life. Getting my mother's storage locker organised, inventorying my own life and possessions, making up for lost time, and paying off old debts-- monetary and karmic. I attributed much of my depression-- and that may be a bit too strong a word, but I've certainly had moments of nearly overwhelming despair-- to the sheer amount of effort, discipline, and lack I've had to live with.

Recently I've really come to understand that many of these feelings were because of my health. And that has led me to really think about why we are here in this dimension, and on this planet.

When I give my guided meditation to cleanse the chakras, I always try to mention the heart chakra's "other" function, which is to bring together the energies of both earth and heaven. In modern metaphysical usage (not Hindu/yoga systems), the heart chakra is actually two chakras: pink, for the love of humans and human life, and green, for the love of nature, the universe, and all of creation.

We are both physical beings having a spiritual experience of this life, and spiritual beings experiencing the physical. We must encompass both to live fully. There is no death or loss on "the other side". As I have said many times before, I believe that we come here NOT to learn about life- for we live eternally and infinitely on the other side! Before we are born here, and after we die, we are eternal. Death and loss are not only what make this life different, but also what make it unbelievably precious.

Becoming a conscious agent of both earth and heaven means that we have to accept that defecation in an outhouse is as miraculous and awesome as dining on a delicious meal at a 12 star Parisian restaurant. (Many jokes to be made there, I know... ;o) Anger, even hatred, is as sacred as prayer, or unity with the Divine.

Whatever you experience here in this life you will take with you when you die. I was thinking about this the other day when I was listening to someone complain. I spend a good deal of time listening to people complain. (That includes myself in my own head.)

I should mention that I have a new part-time job. And I should mention that I love it more than I thought was possible. It pays about half of what I consider to be my "minimum" wage. It almost a four hour commute everyday (on public transit). I tell you all of this first so you will really understand that I seriously love my new job. I am a type of telemarketer. A paid fundraiser.

That's right. I call people at home and ask them to give money to organisations that they have supported in the past. I have heard every sad story about the economy there is to hear. Between this job and being psychic I wonder how any of us manage to get out of bed in the morning! (Coffee, hummingbirds buzzing, the orange blossoms perfuming the air outside my bedroom window, the colours of sunrise.)

And I wonder, a lot more frequently, how God/dess puts up with us. How must it feel to be prayed to and hear nothing but complaints? Desperate entreaties for the fulfillment of constant desires? Thanks only when hungers have been, or are about to be, fulfilled? I am glad I am only human, because human patience is not large enough to understand or tolerate its' host. Only the Divine could put up with our constant complaints and still offer unconditional Love.

I think the economic crisis is the greatest thing to happen to this world since fire, or the invention of the wheel. Thank the God/dess! We are finally beginning to understand that money and the human economy CANNOT be basis of life here on this planet anymore. It was different back when there were more animals than humans, more trees than buildings, more non-human nature than humans. That world is gone. We have conquered darkness, hunger, exposure, thirst. Now we must conquer our greedy selves.

Whether the economy is good or bad, money will not buy arable, fertile land, or clean air, or drinkable water. It will not buy back a species that we have forced into extinction. Money cannot even buy back lost health. It can buy healthcare, but not health. Money won't buy happiness- it can buy things that will make you temporarily feel pleasure and serenity and joy, but it cannot buy those actual feelings. This I have learned all too well over the last few years.

We must learn to base our economy on the things that are truly valuable: our fragile existence on this planet, and a sustaining relationship with our world and ourselves. And I do not believe that complaints - about ourselves or others or our situations- will be conduits to a sustainable, thriving and healthy future and planet. I think only appreciation will.

Frankly, many of us- and I do mean to include myself here- are learning that all of that past misery was wasted! If only we could regain that lifestyle that wasn't "good enough" a few years ago! If only we could go back to the woes of yesterday! How abundant was our misery in that job we hated and have now lost! That home that was too small or in the wrong neighbourhood that has now been foreclosed!

About a month ago I woke up one morning terrified about my bills, and unhappy with my recent weight gain, my faltering relationship, and the dismal selection of my wardrobe. But later that day I was outside and they sky was so beautiful, and the mountains were so green (a rarity), and the lantana and lilacs smelled so sweet, I realised how ridiculous I was!

Whatever you experience in this life you take with you when you leave. Don't take the bills, the dissatisfaction, the ugliness, the pain. Take every moment of joy and beauty and pleasure that you can. Cultivate habits and pastimes that will reward you regardless of your bank balance-- or the bank bailouts!

And always keep in mind the two things that you cannot live without: your health, and the health of this planet.

Tonight from 830-930 PM turn off all of the lights and appliances that you can. There are Earth hour festivals in many cities, but I actually think that this a good hour to meditate. Beam some love out from your heart chakra to the whole planet and everything on it. (Or think about All Dreams Day on April 1st, and what you would do if you ruled the world for a day!)

Even the things that you don't like. Remember, a big part of the economic crisis is the loss of those formerly hated mortgages and bosses and bills! Sometimes, living without the things you don't like is worse than living with them!

PRAISES, THANKS, & BLESSINGS!!!
conjurewoman1@yahoo.com

(A quick note: I am still on borrowed internet, and have been writing these posts lately in one sitting with almost no editing time. Please forgive all the errors!)