--Jimmy Cliff
Most of us spend a good deal of time resisting certain feelings, situations, interactions with other people, changes, etc. Resistance is easier than change. In fact, I think most humans fear change more than they fear death. Death is something everyone knows they will have to deal with someday. But change, it's easier to "put up resistance."
Resistance takes a lot of forms. Procrastinating, watching television or movies, reading, eating, partying, busywork, fixing someone else's problems, finding excuses, creating drama, getting angry or depressed, complaining, or having the expectation or desire that things change instantly and completely to a desired outcome, etc. But resistance only makes the force for changes stronger. Or makes the need for them stronger.
A lot of clients will say to me "I don't feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life." What this usually means is that is that the person is not happy with their job. (Sometimes other aspects of their life.) Usually what they feel they are "supposed" to be doing is something that they like to do, or that they want to do. However, the resistance to the current situation is usually a big part of the obstacle in getting to what the person feels would be a better situation. (And it may or may not be. As everyone has experienced: "be careful what you wish for," etc.)
I worked with this guy briefly who was studying to be a masseur. We were both waiters at this awful chain restaurant. The clientele rarely tipped more than ten percent, and it was one of those places with never ending refills on certain menu items. Servers did a lot of work, especially for people that only ordered the never ending items, and rarely got a decent tip.
My co-worker would go into these rages-- breaking dishes, yelling, etc-- over certain customers. But he would also talk a lot about how he wasn't "supposed" to be working at that job, or at that place. He felt that he was meant for a "higher" spiritual purpose. He spent more intense emotional energy resisting his current situation than he did creating a new one. (Yelling and complaining as opposed to building clientele, following up on leads, preparing for the exam to get his license, and so forth.)
At the time I had still not learned to keep my mouth shut unless someone actually asked for my advice (okay, I still haven't fully learned that lesson ;o), and one day I offered the example of Zen monks. I don't recall where I read this, but in Zen monasteries it is the head priest that cleans the toilets. The higher up the monk, the more menial the tasks the monk is assigned.
Naturally, this did not make my co-worker any more accepting of his current employment. Nor did my suggestions that the highest spiritual reality can be found right here, right now, on this planet, in this life, doing whatever you are doing at that moment. Or that massaging these bad customers that upset him so much would not be fundamentally different from serving them food. In fact, dealing with someone's body issues, health, etc, could end up being more thankless than bringing them four bowls of soup and 3 glasses of water and getting a dollar tip.
We are all here to serve each other, in some way. It is how we serve, and how we view the task of serving.
I believe that whatever you are doing right now is what you are meant to be doing at this time. I do not believe that we are here on this planet and this life to be happy, or to do what we want to do when we want to do it. Those are welcome by-products of living the life we are meant to live, but I don't believe that is why we are here. And resisting a current problem will not give the Universe much faith that you can handle larger ones.
And that is not to say that my former co-worker should not have pursued work that he would have found more rewarding. But all of that resistance to his current situation didn't leave much room or energy for anything new. He spent most of his free time out partying and blowing off steam (i.e., getting into fights) to relieve himself of all the stress he felt at work.
Resisting never creates new opportunities. It doesn't create change. And while I have not heard from him since I left that job, it seems likely that he is at another job that he hates equally. Or that when he did become a masseuse that he would not eventually create the same resistance patterns and frustration in that profession. Because resistance just keeps creating the same situation over and over again, stronger each time. Especially if it is a problem that needs to be solved so that you can move on to the next level in your journey here, in this life.
And my co-workers real problem was with his resistance, not necessarily the work he was doing.
I believe that we are here to solve the problems that come to us. In fact, I think the problems that come up again and again are the main reason we are here. I use the analogy of raindrops: molecules of water attach themselves to particles of dirt or smoke and ascend to the sky. They join with other water and dirt molecules and become clouds. Then they fall to earth and release their "carriers" i.e, the dirt, and become pure water again.
We all come here with "carriers"-- not particles of dirt, but problems. However, when we hit the ground, we often have trouble releasing our "carriers". What was good in the sky is not good on the ground. But it is hard to let go. However, the only way to ascend to the heavens again is to release the old carrier and wait to receive a new one.
Another belief I have is that you can only attract into your life what you are. If there are problems in your life you attracted them. Blame is just a form of resistance, like excuses. Every thought and belief and emotion that we hold is like a magnet. It attracts certain energy. Or repels certain energy.
Our spiritual, emotional, and mental bodies are like our physical bodies in that we can never see all of ourselves at once. Even with a mirror. You can see the front or the back, but not both at once. Even in a roomful of mirrors.
If there is deep resistance, if the change is really significant, it will run very deep and be difficult to see clearly. So it will manifest in people and situations around you. I have actually come to welcome difficulties in my life when the same one crops up in many areas, with many different people. It is usually a sign that there is something I need to release, that I am ready to release, but that I am resisting.
This week I found myself in several conversations with people where either I was asking them for something, or they were asking me for something. Regardless of which direction the favour was going, I was getting a lot of resistance. Either the person I was asking the favour from did not want to do it, but instead of saying "no" would instead try to dissuade me of my need, or criticise me for having the problem. Or, if I was the one being asked, the person would launch into a lengthy story trying to "pre"-convince me of what they wanted me to do.
Both of these patterns are very familiar to me from my family and my childhood. I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to break them in myself. (Asking for and doing favours directly, without expectation of obligation, answering with "yes" or "no" answers, and always being prepared to accept an other's "no" when I am doing the asking.) Needless to say, it concerned me to find this coming up in so many different situations and with different people, mostly casual acquaintances and people I was dealing with in a professional capacity.
I still don't have a firm grasp on what it is in myself I have been resisting, that would run so deep that I would need it reflected back at me from so many different angles. But I've found a few threads. Without going into the particulars too much, which aren't that important to this post, basically I have isolated myself from certain interactions with people because I want to avoid conflict at any cost, because I have pride that is out of balance with my current situation, and because I don't like being obligated to other people, but so often am, I usually let other people off the hook in being obligated to me when I do favours. Somewhere I have become off balance, or this way of doing things no longer works for me.
Obviously I need to change some aspect of how I relate to others. And I have no doubt that it is necessary for my growth. I have never learned to negotiate conflict in a way that is comfortable for me. I either walk away or get really angry and out of control. If I let my fear of conflict continue, and continue my past patterns, I will not be able to engage fully in the situations that will be coming to me in the near future.
I don't know what these situations will be, I just know from past experience that if it is time to release or change a pattern, challenging situations are going to arrive on the heels of all these reflections. And resistance-- IE, trying to continue with the old behaviour-- is only going to make the unwanted situation stronger.
Moreover, I feel certain that the energy of this time- of moving the heavy furniture- is going to demand deep changes in the behaviour patterns of almost everyone on this planet. I believe that globally we are all being challenged to change our most hidden behavioural patterns. Whether this will bring about Karmageddon or usher in the Age of Avatars and higher consciousness is dependent on subjective, personal transformation. Hopefully this post will be helpful.
I will end with a quote from Louise Hay: When you change, they (the problem people or situations) change, or they go away.
It all starts with internal changes and releasing resistance.
PRAISES, THANKS, & BLESSINGS!!!
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