PSYCHIC DEVELOPMENT: AT CLOSE RANGE

One thing I have been learning a lot about is how much our thoughts are influenced by the people in close physical proximity. I have come to the conclusion recently that only about 25% of the thoughts that run through my head are self-generated.

I think this is true for everyone, not just me. I think I am just more aware of it. The stereotype of the psychic is that they know everything- what you are thinking, how you feel about it, what context you are thinking about it in. But that is just not possible. There is only so much room in the human mind at any given time. Most of us can't think about more than a few things at once. And most of us are pretty wrapped up in our own scenarios.

There is a cultural awareness right now of "positive thought" and the "law of attraction." And I talk about those things a lot in my blog posts. But there is another aspect to the effect of close physical proximity: we consciously and unconsciously respond to the feelings, reactions, and responses of other people.

The truth is, most of us are driven by our "addictive demands." We all develop a set of demands of how things "should be" in order to be happy. This includes both our own behaviours and actions, and the behaviours and actions of the people around us. And our environments, and situations in our lives. We "need" ourselves and the outside world to conform to our standards.

You buy a new dress and your boyfriend doesn't notice and it makes you upset. The big concert gets cancelled. The roof leaks. You have to get the roof repaired and it uses up your vacation savings. Your husband leaves you. Your cat dies. You get laid off. There really is no logical reason to let those things affect your happiness, but most of us equate happiness with a spontaneous feeling that comes from a certain set of circumstances being met.

Keyes breaks it down like this: "I create the experience of hurt because my programming demands that Steve say I look good in my new dress." Each addictive demand is motivated by a beneficial intention. "My beneficial intention is to feel beautiful." (The book Gathering Power through Insight and Love breaks down the whole process on how to feel beautiful regardless of how others respond. And how to uplevel addictive demands to preferences, thereby creating more harmony in your life, and actually drawing the things you desire to you faster.)

Most common, everyday interactions are really about addictive demands. I order my coffee in the morning and the server is friendly, brings it on time, it's hot, etc. I have a "good" experience. I have been validated as worthy of friendly, fast service and hot, delicious coffee. If one of those things is missing in the equation, the happiness/validation factor is reduced as well.

Fully half- probably more- of the conversations and interactions we have with each other are based on the fact that an addictive demand is at work, not necessarily what the situation is. I think empaths are more likely to pick up on this because addictive demands are always operating out of emotions, and the lower three chakras: survival, creativity & pleasure, and ego. (Keyes book calls the chakras "Centres of Consciousness" and breaks down the addictive demand and the response by each chakra.)

More and more when I engage in any activity with another human- and especially those that I do not know that well- I try to monitor what I am feeling against what I am picking up from that person. (You cannot get as much outside verification working with people you don't know, but it is easier to be objective.)

I try to watch what chakra I am responding with- where in my body I am feeling the pleasure, or the anger, or the sadness, etc. The coffee experience would affect the creativity/sense pleasure chakra (below your belly button, in the groin). But if I was also feeling entitled to good service, it would affect my ego chakra in the solar plexus. If I was taking clients out for breakfast and the meeting was important to my business it might affect my root "survival" chakra. (Right in the genitals, almost not in the body, between the legs.)

I had a woman come up to me on Delmar the other day and ask me for change. Her energy was so sad and miserable. There are a lot homeless in Los Angeles. A shocking amount. Some wear garbage bags for clothing and are covered in grime. It is not that unusual to see them urinate or defecate in public. But this woman's energy was as broken down as any I'd seen in Los Angeles.

I was really distracted with my scenarios and addictive demands from a day at work (my boss said this and it made me mad, my co-worker did this and it made me "happy", etc). Initially I responded that I had no cash, and while I was polite to her I didn't say my usual "good luck to you" or "bless you." (Homeless and street people are often messengers and advocates of God/desses and Angels. Even if you don't have anything to give them it is a good idea to wish them well.)

A few steps past her my "hamster wheel" of thoughts stopped, and I got the strongest psychic feeling- in words too, but not really her words, just my rational mind finding her feeling easy to translate- of "she just wanted to know if she mattered to anyone." The money problem probably seemed real enough to her, but it was an addictive demand at work that had her out begging.

And an addictive demand that I know well and struggle with often. Money as a form of validation. A lack of self-love that creates a need to be supported by the outside world. Because I struggle with that in myself, that was our attraction to each other for that interaction. And my dislike of that, along with my head being so clogged with my useless rumination on past events and future imaginings, is what created my initial brusque reaction.

Had it been ten years ago I would have been so clogged up with not just that day's crap, but stuff from months and even years ago. I might have launched into a whole conversation with her about my own financial situation, or felt affronted that someone would ask me for money like that- didn't I have my own problems? etc.

If she had been rude to me for refusing her request- which is not uncommon, especially in Los Angeles and New York, and even in Paris I had a woman yell at me as I walked away from her (it wasn't just me, she yelled at everyone, presumabley even if they gave her money)- this simple interaction would have eaten up my whole day with reactions and thoughts about it.

I've found that if I can eliminate the "hamster wheel" of thoughts about past and future situations in my life, and if I am relatively free of emotional reactions- feeling bad because I got irritable with my boss, insulted that someone said something to me that I didn't like, upset that I don't have money or something else that I feel would make me feel more fulfilled, etc- then I can really "hear" what the people around me are feeling.

In Bread Company the other day I was waiting in line, and I was very "empty" that morning. Not quite awake yet, not thinking about the day ahead, or yesterday, or really anything. I suddenly felt very self-conscious about how I was dressed. Clothing is a big issue for me since I've been here. I haven't been able to afford new clothes and I have been losing weight, so nothing fits right.

In the past this would have set off a pattern where the walk to work would be filled with dissatisfaction and unhappiness over my clothes, my finances, etc. But recently I decided that I am not going to let anything be a problem, or create unhappiness in my life. And I've been working on my understanding of psychic awareness at close range.

Surveying the line it was easy to identify what was happening. A very beautiful and stylish young lady was at the counter. She was very insecure: tugging at her jacket and skirt, looking around at the other women and how everyone was dressed. She really became agitated, and appeared quite threatened, which was unnecessary. Her clothing was more attractive and expensive than anyone else in line. Nonetheless, she left Bread Co. clutching her order and tossing her head like she'd just been shunned.

Once she was gone, the feeling was gone with her. She reached me not just because I am psychic, but because I have issues about clothing right now. We attract what we are. And she would have affected other women in line with any of those issues, but most people do not take the time every day to clean out the garbage. (And there are varying levels of psychic abilities. Even at close range.) As I said, ten years ago I would have thought I was just having a crappy morning because I can't afford new clothes.

The tricky thing is, being psychic can make you more susceptible to the feelings of others that you respond to, but if you are unaware of your abilities and, more importantly, unable to find your "base", you cannot always tell that those aren't your thoughts. ("Oh god, I feel awful about these old, loose clothes." And off goes the hamster wheel.)

This is why I suggest meditating everyday, whether you are psychic or not. Meditation for this purpose is not to make you stop thinking. Or to have grand psychic or spiritual visions. It is simply to detach from the thought process and learn to release each thought as it comes to you. If you do this with breath work you will find that it will create a space where you can always "find" yourself-- even in the middle of the most hectic, hamster-wheel day.

And if you are psychic it will put you in touch with your own energy. If you "see" energy at all (chakras, auras, etc) you will be able to identify when someone else's energy is influencing you. And give you the opportunity to decide how to respond, instead of getting caught up in their addictive demands. (You might still end up knee deep in your own addictive demands, unless you start working at clearing those out, too.)

It's important to journal. You'd be surprised how many situations I thought I would never be able to verify that have revealed themselves to me. Once you begin really paying attention to the world around you, verification will find you. Everyone wants to be validated. Everyone wants to be heard. This includes unconsciously/ psychically. And this includes the dead.

Years ago, before I got the "upgrade", a man was shot outside of my apartment building. This wasn't a bad neighbourhood. This was a rare occurrence. I had a strong psychic experience that night, both awake and in my dreams. My boyfriend at the time actually talked me into going to the police-- who patiently tolerated me and paid no attention to anything I told them.

Years later I met a man who knew all of the parties involved. He came to my door with a neighbourhood petition. I didn't know this man at all. Something prompted me to bring up the shooting, and many of the things I had "seen" were verified. I had no real Medium experience then, just the random occurrence, sometimes a spirit presence, or a feeling, or as with this, a dream.

I only tapped into this situation because I was so close. And because it was two brothers fighting over a woman- something in my past. But mostly the psychic enormity of a death occurring nearby. The validation served me no purpose, other than to tell me that one of my random dreams had been right. But a spirit recently explained to me that often that is the only satisfaction that a spirit can get. At least one outside person knows what happened. The case remains unsolved, but at least I know what happened. The dead need validation as well as the living.

Begin to watch the effect of psychic energies "at close range." You will learn a lot. It may not be fun at first, especially if you really have a lot of addictive demands running, or the hamster wheel is out of control. For one thing, you will have to become really aware of your own thoughts and feelings, even if they are unhappy, or if you find that you are living a life that is not suited to you or you are resisting growth.

But if you are developing psychically, you probably won't be able to cut it off. It will do more harm than good to try. And the more you learn about your own addictive demands the more you will see that the people around you are similar. And the more you love yourself unconditionally, the more you will be able to love them, too.

And the more that you take time every day to meditate and release, to talk to your Spirit Guides and Angels, to pray, and to love yourself, the less you will pulled by the needs and desires of other people. The more you will be able to make conscious decisions based on your best interests, and the best interests of everyone involved.

And you will be able to more clearly see opportunities around you. Once you can get out of the lower three chakras, you will be able to clearly observe the people that can help in your career, or get a loan you need, or start a business, etc.

PRAISES, THANKS, & BLESSINGS!!!