A bit of business first: Firstly, beginning next Saturday, June 16th, from 12-3PM, I will be reading tarot cards at another location in the Delmar Loop. Napps Beauty Salon. This is a really awesome venue and I hope those of you in the St. Louis area will stop by. (I will still be at Subterranean Books on Tuesday evenings.)
Secondly, the planet Mercury turns "retrograde"*** on the 15th. If you haven't already, get it signed, sealed and/or delivered, to say nothing of repaired, before Friday. Trust me, this one will be a doozy.
***The planet only appears to go backward, as about three times a year our planet's rotation passes Mercury. For a really good explanation of Mercury retrogrades and intersolar cycles, check Richard Nolle's June astrocast. Nolle is very technical, but while you are there, it is worth reading his analysis of the June 25th Saturn/Neptune opposition, the inspiration for the title of this post. (Saturn in Leo, fire, and Neptune in Aquarius, rain.)
The song that I am actually listening to as I write this, is Simon and Garfunkel's SOUND OF SILENCE. There is a strange dilemma that comes with the often vague and incomplete visions called "psychic premonitions." If I try to predict, do I alter the events themselves? Does that put my vote, my energy, my blessing behind the horrors I often see? Do I lend strength to the demons, or do I deter them?
Even now, having seen the headlines this morning of the shooting in Wisconsin, the matricide and suicide in Texas, I wonder if the world really needs anymore dire warnings? But, as is often the case, I am looking back to this moment from another moment a few days or weeks, or even months and sometimes years, ahead.
This is the year of the Great Awakening. The Mayans foresaw, thousands of years ago, the Doomsday Cycle that culminates with a Grand Cross in autumn of 2012. "The end of the world as we know it." To survive, to thrive, to alter the treacherous course humans have authored since man began his journey out of the caves, this is the last year, the last chance.
If it doesn't work, if it doesn't serve the greater good, this is the year the fortress will begin to crumble. Watch for falling masonry.
It is unfortunate that often the most sensitive and troubled fall victim to the bad energy and spirits that roam freely during these times. It is to these souls that I write this post.
Without discussing too many personal details, let me say that I have experienced "the dark night of the soul" that is suicidal tendencies. And in my life, I have known mental illness more intimately than I would have liked. My mother is severely manic-depressive. For many years, especially as a child, I was afraid of my gift because of her illness. I was afraid that I was crazy, too. Many of the blocks I have in hearing and seeing spirits are obstacles I created when I was younger. I did not want this gift when I was younger.
Suicidal thoughts are often the need for a "Near Death Experience." Many people with psychic gifts, without knowing it, may subconsciously yearn for the shamanic experience of seeing death's doorway. In a society that has virtually no spiritual culture, it can be difficult to identify what is essentially a spiritual urge.
Suicidal tendencies, especially if they are verbally expressed to friends and confidants, can also be a need for appreciation and love. Quite frankly, if you are someone who does this, you need to get over it. Remember, what you speak, what you think, is how you shape the events of your life. Find another way to get the validation you need.
I've had the opportunity to talk to a suicide. He was someone I knew in life, although I knew him during my "aetheistic" years. He was one of the first spirits to contact me when I got my "psychic upgrade" a few years ago. He has become a type of "Gaurdian Angel"-- although I have to distinguish here that "real" angels are not necessarily former human spirits that have left this world. They are beings of Light, and don't always understand us. Spirits like my friend M. work under a kind of contract. (Ironically, the after-life is as bureaucratic as an escrow office, but more on that in another post. Or just watch the movie BEETLEJUICE.)
One thing I know from talking to him and to other "tortured" spirits is that if you think killing yourself will "end it all" you are severely mistaken. There is an irony to our journey here on planet earth. We are here to learn about death, not life. Life everlasting and eternal we find after death, on the "other side". But death we learn about here, during our "life" time. It is the reason we are here.
It is the great paradox: one cannot experience death without life, yet our spirits can live forever without dying.
And here is the great caveat: If you kill yourself you effectively trap yourself in eternal death. You become trapped in all of the "bad" things you are trying to escape. (I also believe that before we come here we choose many of the circumstances of our lives, and especially our problems. In fact, I believe that the problems we face here are precisely the reason we are here. We are here to solve our problems, especially the big ones, ironically, the ones that often make us feel like giving up.)
My friend M. is lucky, because he has a friend here on earth who really loved him and who has kept M.'s memory alive through the many creative projects they worked on together. This love and honour is how M. was able to escape his "hell". He was able to reach me the night I was in the darkness and could not find my way out. And few years later he was able to come to me and show me the world of Angels and "Jacob's Ladder", the great rainbow of light from which they ascend and descend from this world to other worlds beyond.
It is not a judgement or condemnation that when we are most alone, most depressed, most confused, most angry, that angels and loving spirits cannot reach us. These fears and feelings are "static" that make it almost impossible for us to hear them.
If you are troubled, I urge you to reach out to the good in your life. If the climate is temperate, go somewhere where you can touch your bare feet to the earth and simply sit for as long as you can. Try to clear you mind and focus on your breathing until you can find yourself and a peaceful place in your soul.
If that is does not work, reach out. Hot-lines, therapists, priests, psychiatrists, even psychiatric drugs. I am not a fan of our "pop a pill culture." I do not even believe that carefree happiness is our natural state, or that we should expect to feel happy all the time. (Again, more on this in another post.) But if psychiatric drugs are necessary, hopefully for a temporary period, by all means, get the prescription.
If you cannot find the good place in yourself here in this life, it will be just as difficult (if not more difficult) to find it in death. And, ironically, I have heard from many spirits that they would come back to this life in second, even if meant coming to the "worst" of conditions. This life is a beautiful gift, even the misery and unhappiness in it is beautiful from the other side.
"And in the naked light I saw/ Ten thousand people maybe more/ People talking without speaking/ People hearing without listening/ People writing songs that voices never shared/ No one dared/ Disturb the sound of silence ..."
I foresee another wave of madness about strike, probably culminating toward the end of the month when the Saturn/Neptune opposition becomes exact. As is usually the case, I have no premonitions about any of my loved ones or regular readers of this blog. But if there is a soul who needs to hear this, I hope my words will not be "like silent raindrops fell/ and echo in the wells/ of Silence."
PRAISES, THANKS, & BLESSINGS!!!
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